expectations (2007)

So here I am - save me
here I am – change me
here I am - mend me
here I am - send me

As I was listening to Shaun Groves softly sing these lyrics my heart began to melt this morning and I thought boy, how off base I get sometimes with my priorities. The lessons we learn through the simplest of instruments of teaching – “for there is God also”!


Saturday afternoon I decided to get my big caboose off the sofa and move the flower-bed to the side of the house from the rear – something that I’ve been intent on doing for four weeks now. After moving the landscaping timbers, and transplanting the living stuff, I began to move the river rock that frames up the bed. As I restacked the flat rock in an orderly and decorative fashion, I recalled a parable that Max Lucado shared in his book In The Grip Of Grace, which just happens to be my favorite of the Christian writer that I liken to a Pez-dispenser, due to the seemingly endless array of documented talent on display in the book stores today.

This book in its entirety filters around the story from chapter one, entitled “The River Parable” and to just quickly hit the highlights for those that haven’t read it: There were five boys that lived with their dad in a mountainside castle. Below their abode ran a rapidly flowing river, which they were warned to stay clear of. The oldest son (also known as the wise one) alone heeded his father’s call for caution, yet the other four found themselves being swept down river and into an unknown land. After an initial period of hope for rescue, they began to separate. One built a hut and began to live anew among the natives. One decided to watch over his industrious yet disloyal brother, to keep account of his “wrong doings”. A third brother decided the only way home was to build a walkway of river rocks upstream until he reached his father, and earn his forgiveness. The youngest decided to stay by the fire to wait with hope and expectation, that his father would somehow save them all.

The eldest finally arrived to bring them home, yet he was only accepted by the one that held steadfast to his faith in his father’s love. The thatched hut resident wouldn’t relinquish his newly acquired worldly possessions, even to regain his birthright. The judgmentalist refused to take his eyes off his brother’s ever growing list of sins for the opportunity to see home again. The hard working, and self-sufficient one refused to believe that his father would accept him merely by grace, and not on the merits of his own efforts (so he continued to build the road home himself), yet as the strong carried the weak back to their father’s side there was indeed sadness for the lost and dying.

In each of these siblings we can find ourselves mirrored. I can find me in one or the other at some point in life mimicking the mindsets of the lost sons. Yet, it’s the path-building dude that holds special kindred to my past, and ever so often my present as well. For many times I saw the value of God’s grace only validated through the works that my Christianity could produce. My confused mind believed His forgiveness was only the nourishing baby formula that gets us through our infancy period, and then we gained strength through “His appreciation for our good works” – until we are able to walk upright through the gates of eternity.

Sounds ridiculous doesn’t it, until you run in to so many that profess the same false theology in their actions and attitudes day after day. Grace is never enough for so many! It can’t be that simple, for surly our great God must have higher expectations of us! It’s so easy to get caught up in the mistaken belief that we are a part of the solution rather than facing the truth which assures the fact that we, as in our “selves” are indeed part of the problem. Thus, our need for grace!

This week is (as the past few have been) filled with busyness. Good intentions, strong effort, humble yearnings, but busyness none-the-less. Busyness - that takes away from my time of prayer, my consumption of His word, and my focus on Him. We all have so many expectations that we place on ourselves, and yet more often on others - expectations, that mold and shape our attitudes toward them, ourselves, as well as with our God.

In a phone conversation last week with my friend Connie, (a missionary in India) I was reminded of what expectations I should have of myself as she shared a story of a girl at the orphanage in Mumbai that has suffered from vaginal bleeding since she was three years old. (This is believed to be the result of an unreported sexual abuse situation.) She’s now in her late teens or early twenties I believe, and continues to live with the physical and emotional turmoil of this. Yet, when Connie came to comfort her the girl merely wanted to examine her hands. Then the girl’s face became consumed in a smile that would break your heart I was told for through a translator Connie found out that the girl had searched year after year, person after person for a connection with someone.

For in her mind “blood” separated her from everyone else. In the natural lines of Connie’s hand she found a pattern that matched her own, and they held their hands up - side by side for others to see the pair of almost identical roadmaps in their palms. Like the youngest of the boys in Max’s story this girl (as well as Connie) knew if she kept her faith, and looked long enough she would find a way home, even through the palms of another.

You’re probably asking, “What does Shaun Groves, Max Lucado, five boys in a parable, a missionary woman, and a small perpetually bleeding girl have in common with us, and our own real issues” (as we like to think of them as)? It’s that we all share expectations. Expectations – and yes, false expectations as well, the kind that at times guide our comings and goings. It pushes us through doors that may not be meant for us to pass through, yet stops us from entering those that have been purposefully placed before us.

Expectations that we can survive on our own – expectations that we are “just” through our judgments of others – expectations that we can work our way into His pleasure – and then there is the true and right expectation that His love will suffice until that day we’re brought into His presence for all eternity.

Expectations from Him, is easily found in His word. He expects me to choose to ask Him to save me. He expects me to be willing to allow Him to change me. He expects me to receive in fullness His mending of my past. And most assuredly He expects me to ask Him to send me to do His works.

Through your mercy and grace Lord we are able to ask of you all things, but most importantly we ask that your will be done in our lives. Humbly, I ask that you let the lines in the palms of my hands match yours my dear Savior. Amen Doug