Come on in!

About a year and a half ago Carol met Rob and it was magical, as many have said.   He seemed to be all she had been looking for in a man.  She was lonely, a single mother, simply looking for someone to share a peaceful life with.  She had lived in the same small community nearly her whole life.  Nothing exciting, just a normal kind of life as she later described.  All she had that mattered in life at the time was her daughter, dad, and her family, but what she wanted was a man’s love to fill a void she had in her heart.  So with a smile on her face and dreams of bliss in her mind, she told Rob; Come on in!

They really hit it off, and in no time were deeply serious about their relationship.   It wasn’t long though, before situations came up that Rob’s values didn’t seem to match up with Carol’s, but she was willing to go along with his way of thinking in order to keep the relationship.  After all, an imperfect relationship was still better than no relationship at all.  To his credit, Rob was a smooth talker and could make a convincing argument for just about anything he wanted to convey.  He talked Carol into letting him move in with her in order that he could help with care for her ailing father, and to spend more “fatherly” type of time with her daughter.   She welcomed the idea, as she thought he would be able to help take some of the load off of her that she had been carrying alone for such a long time.  So again she said; Come on in!

Within a few months Rob was able to somehow convince her that she should take a job dancing nude at a men’s club in order to earn money to help support her dad and daughter.  Something, she said she would have never thought to do on her own.  He  continuously told her how beautiful and sexy she was, and how it would be harmless dancing and nothing more.  No touching, no sex, nothing more than dancing without clothes on.  In a way, he made it sound very innocent.

She had been trying to find a job for quite some time, yet nothing seemed to be coming her way.  So she began to think maybe he was right, maybe this was a way to make some good money.  He settled the issue in her mind when he told her it was only going to be for a couple of months, just long enough for them to get ahead of their financial responsibilities and then she wouldn’t ever have to work again.   Rob made it all seem okay somehow, as she tearfully shared much later.

Soon, drugs entered the scene, and the next thing she knew she was being arrested late one night on her way home from the club.  According to her, she had never seen the portable Meth Kit found under the seat of her SUV.   “After all, it had never been used, and no one ever claimed to find her fingerprints on any of the items in the kit.”   She explained to the officers that the pills they also found were for legitimate medical problems, even though she didn’t have a prescription.  Regardless, she was booked into the county jail and given a hefty bond for the felony charges placed on her at the time.  She sat in her cell wondering, what in the world was happening to her life. Why was this all happening to her of all people?

Rob was quick to the rescue, as he told everyone how this must have been the work of a crooked cop trying to set her up, or a vengeful ex-husband trying to get custody of their daughter.  He declared with confidence she was completely innocent, just needing someone other than him to believe in her.  He found a bonding company willing to help, and with newly authorized access to her dad’s bank account Rob bonded her out.  Once back home her way of seeing Rob began to change as finally her eyes were beginning to be opened as to the influence he was having in her life.   She recalls that it finally clicked in her brain one day that she didn’t have all these problems before he came along, so she started trying to find a way to distance herself from him.   With a firm voice, but a scared heart, she broke the news to him, he needed to leave and she never wanted to see him again.

Unable to convince her otherwise, he left.   In turn he found a way to convince the bondsman to put her back in jail without her knowing it was him working behind the scenes to make it happen.  Rob simply wasn’t willing to let go of what he had gained or at least not without a fight to keep control over her.  He reasoned that he just needed to get her back to a point where she recognized how badly she needed and wanted him in her life.  He decided she could simply sit in jail until she could convince him she was going to do and act exactly as he wanted.   Finally she gives in and told him what he wanted to hear; Come on in again!  He quickly sprang into action and convinced another bonding company of her innocence, and mistreatment by the authorities and her previous bonding company.  A second bail bond was posted for her.

Using her dad’s only source of income (his monthly disability check) again he was able to pay the bondsman the fee, and so everything seemingly was getting back on track for the couple.  She left the jail feeling freed at last, or at least that’s what she thought at the time.  Within a month of getting her out of jail for the second time Rob asked her to marry him.  Unbelievably Carol accepts his proposal.   Wedding plans were quickly made, but before the big day arrived things turned even worse in their relationship.  After a physical altercation she tossed him out and ended the relationship, even going as far as to have him charged with assault.   So Rob in return begins to try and convince the new bondsman she was once again a high risk for skipping out, and needed to be put back in jail.  The same trick he had used before in an attempt to get her back under his control.

This bondsman didn’t fall for his pleading, but rather continued to keep close tabs on her.  Carol explained to the bondsman that she now had verifiable evidence that the Meth Kit found in her car belonged to Rob and that he had admitted to someone that it was he who had placed it in her vehicle. The bondsman was never completely convinced of any of this, but he allowed her to stay out on the bonds as long as she continued to check in weekly.

The saga continues; just a few weeks apart from Rob she found herself in the middle of another serious drug situation, which according to her was not of her doings either.  This problem seemed worse than the last as now she feared her problems were going to cause her father legal trouble as well since illegal drugs were found on his property.  She didn’t know who to turn to as she feared telling the authorities would only lead to her arrest since she already had pending drug charges.  So guess who comes to her rescue once again?  You guessed it, good ol’ Rob.

She was so grateful for his help in making everything “disappear” she had the assault charges against him dropped. Completely weakened mentally, emotionally, and spiritually from all that had happened, she told him once more; Come on in!  It was much later that she actually realized, Rob also had staged the events that led her to take him back in again, and to drop the charges against him.  Once more he had control of the situation!

Learning from his earlier mistakes, the first thing he did this time was to close the deal.  He convinced her to marry him right away, and out of fear and confusion she headed down to the courthouse with him the next day.   He had her right where he wanted her, or at least he thought - but as could be expected, turmoil arose (or merely continued) and soon the couple split up again.  Again she tried to swear out a warrant for his arrest because of another physical altercation, but the sheriff’s department suspected this was simply another flare up between the couple and that she would come back later asking that the charges be dropped, so they refused to act immediately on her request.

In a strange twist at this point Carol crosses paths with an old high school flame and a quick romance struck up while she was separated from Rob, her husband but for a few months.   This new love in her life believed her version of what had taken place, and simply wanted to help her get out of the predicament she was in.  So he, (Jim) said to her; Come on in!   Unlike Rob and Carol – Jim held an important and well paying position with a company and was doing very well for himself.   I suspect (but hope I'm wrong) she may have been so desperate for someone to rescue her from her problems that she realized she could use Jim’s innocent affection for her, as well as his bank account to get out of the mess she had created for herself.  So to Jim she says also; Come on in!

In the meantime her father’s medical condition worsens from all the stress she is adding to their lives.  As for the daughter, she apparently gets brushed aside during all of this and is left to cope with live the best a fifth grader can conger up, with only family members helping as best they could.

One obvious problem was that Rob was still in the picture, and as it seemed to be with his nature, he didn’t give up very easily.   According to Carol, after a well-planned out scheme, Rob called her to meet him in order to pick up her dad’s tools that he had been carrying around in the trunk of his car.   She said she met him in a public place without incident and took the plastic bag and headed back home.  When she gave the tools to her dad he quickly saw his pocket knife (which had been missing for about a month) was in the bag and appeared to have blood on it.  They immediately took it to the sheriff’s department and told the authorities what had taken place.  The officers told them that it would be looked into.  I suspect at this point they had growing concerns for the validity of anything she claimed.

A couple of days later, the bondsman (remember him) gets a call from an elderly woman who claimed to be a relative of Carol.  Later believed to be her grandmother.  She told him that Carol had stabbed Rob and he is having her arrested for attempted murder, and that she was getting ready to skip out with another man before the deputies got to her.   The bondsman did the sensible thing as he immediately met with her and her dad and listened to their side of the story.  After judging the risk that this growing situation posed to his company he decided to take Carol into custody, if for no other reason for her own safety.  He assured her dad that he would somehow help her get back out of jail once the situation surrounding the stabbing incident was cleared up.

 

Believe it or not, the first person that came to the jail to see if he could help her, was no other than Rob the estranged husband, and stabbing victim.  Who just the day before claimed to be in California, trying to start his life over again.  Crazy huh!  He showed up, trying to explain to anyone willing to listen as to how Carol stabbed or cut him on the arm (which was said to look like a cat’s scratch) with her dad’s pocket knife, but how he still loved her and just wanted her to get the “help” she needed for all her problems.  What a guy! 

 

Over the next couple of days her dad called anyone that would take his calls to see if there was any way to get Carol out of jail, as she was his only child and most importantly his only caretaker.  He was told to be patient and let this newest of trouble she found herself in get cleared up by the authorities.  Sadly, after only three days in jail a call came in informing her that her dad had died of a massive heart attack.

 

What a tragedy!   A family member came forth and paid to have her bond posted for a third time.  She was freed from jail the morning her dad’s body was placed in the ground.

Sixteen short months had passed since she first asked Rob to; Come on in!  Her life has been turned completely upside down to say the least.  Her family has had to scrap up tens of thousands of dollars to hand over to bail bonding companies.  Money they didn’t have to spare, and will never get back.   Her father is dead, and Carol’s innocent daughter’s life has been forever changed in a very sad way.  She still faces several pending felony charges which will lead to years or decades in prison if convicted.  Rob has yet to go away as he promised, and her high school sweetheart, Jim is still trying desperately to help her anyway he can.   What a mess!

The sad part of all this, is that it’s a true story. I changed the names, but nevertheless they are real people that I’ve come to know since I bailed her out one of the three times I mentioned. This is just my take on it as I've reached many of these conclusions from what I personally have seen and heard from the people involved in this real-life tragedy.    It’s a terribly sad story of lives being changed, if not destroyed because the wrong choice was made when the words, come on in were first spoken. 

 A year and a half of living a "normal life" has been lost that will never be recouped, by her, her daughter, her family, and especially her dad.   Is Rob to blame for all of this?  I don’t think so!  Was it her decision to ask him into her life?  Yes it was!  Was it her fault for turning a blind eye to all the red flags that began to spring up as she got to know Rob more?   Yes, indeed!  Does she, like many of us that have issues causing us to make wrong choices over and over?  Yes, that’s pretty obvious!   Did Rob recognize that and take advantage of her situation and manipulate her into inviting him into her life?  I believe so!   You see, the real truth is, that Carol has only made the same types of mistakes that some of us have made in our own past.  Yet for her, as well as some of us, those mistakes have come with terrible consequences.  

Does the Enemy of righteousness and truth attempt to do the same in our lives that Rob has done in hers?  Absolutely!   If you’re naïve to think otherwise, you may just likely find yourself going through a sixteen month disaster or two in your life as well. It’s told in the scriptures that we must always be on guard as to whom we say to; Come on in!   It warns us, that we are in a spiritual battle on the highest level, not merely against evil people but with demonic powers beyond our capability to fight alone. 


The lesson here is an obvious one; we must always be very careful when a stranger comes knocking, for it very well could be the Enemy appearing to be just the right answer to all our prayers.  I'm not just referring to a person, but it could be an opportunity, a business venture, a relationship, a form of ministry, etc.  The Enemy will stop for nothing as long as there is a chance you and I can be dubbed into inviting him into our lives.   I highly suspect Carol, (a person I truly like and wish the best for) will remember this lesson all to well in her future, whatever it turns out to look like.

On the other hand, we all know that we’re expected to leave our doors open as an invitation to help strangers and show them God’s love.  If we understand His promises correctly, we also know He has imparted to us (His true believers) the gift of discernment through the Holy Spirit.   It will be of great value for us to use this gift as He intended.   When red flags start springing up like they did early on in this story, we should consider the possibility it may very well be the Holy Spirit shining light onto a very dangerous darkness that we would be wise to avoid.

As a reminder to do so, let’s never forget the sad story that comes from the last sixteen months of Carol’s life.  Let's stay on guard for all the Rob’s of this world, who could very possibly be just around the next corner!  The Enemy waits forever patiently for an opportunity for us to say; Come on in. Never forget that!    I ask that we all pray for the real people associated with this story even though you don’t know them.  They certainly do need our prayers.   Doug

The Boxer - Reprinted from 2008

The Boxer

In the clearing stands a boxer – and a fighter by his trade - he carries the reminders of every glove that laid him down or cut him till he cries out in his anger and his shame I am leaving, I am leaving but the fighter still remains.

These lyrics come from Paul Simon and Art Garfunkel,  a beautiful song of years gone by - The Boxer, which I must admit at an earlier age I just couldn’t understand the reason for the title of the song since only the final verse of the five included any reference to the sport of boxing.  Later in life I realized that each verse actually spoke of a man’s lifetime of fighting bout after bout with the opponents that life itself throws into the ring.

The first time I walked in the gym I almost gagged from the stench of sweat.  Between the stale air and humidity I was perspiring within minutes after entering the building.   The lighting was so bad that I could hardly make out the shadows of folks spread sparingly throughout the large concrete-walled, wooden-floor, 1940’s era, severely ran down building.   At the north end of the boxing arena I got a glimpse of a folded-out table and three figures sitting around it.   That looked like as good a place as any to start asking for this fellow they called “Ace” I was in search of.

As I approached the three I could see and hear one of them slowly reading by the dimly lit light an article from a recent sports magazine about an up and coming young boxing professional that had been tagged with the simple nick-name “Big John” and there he sat intently listening as someone read to him what he couldn’t read for himself.    Yes, there John Tate sat in front of me - all 6’4’ 203 lbs - very muscular, dark complexion, with an arm span of 80”.   A mountain of a man, intimidating just to witness in person and there beside him, listening just as intently was Jerry “Ace” Miller – Tate’s manager.  

We met, shook hands, sat for a while as the fellow finished reading the article and then we all congratulated “Big John” on the notoriety and world-wide publicity he was receiving.  John stammered and spoke as if he was a nervous kid in front of the class in first grade, but what he said was very humble, yet obviously determined.   He wanted to win the World’s Heavyweight Championship and apparently that was all he seemed to be focused on.  This I came to know about Big John in the first five minutes of our encounter - he couldn’t read, he struggled to verbally communicate, he was huge, he had the heart and demeanor of a child, and most certainly he was a very determined man on a mission.

Over the next few months I spent a good number of days training in the same building with Big John.   It was a challenge to keep my focus while he was there working out just a few feet away.   He was like a machine and I was like a child taking my first steps.   The first few months of 1979 went by quickly for a young wannabe amateur boxer and his very talented professional friend.  In February Big John headed off to Indianapolis for a national televised fight with a big name opponent.  The fight lasted about a minute as John left his corner at the sound of the bell, walked out to the middle of the ring and knocked out title contender, Duane Bobick with a flurry of power punches.  In April I fought as a novice Light Heavyweight in the East Tennessee Golden Gloves tournament.  I lost the championship match by decision to a guy both Ace Miller and myself knew I should have won.  Thus, there lies the difference between a determined and extremely talented fighter like Big John, and an unskilled rookie like myself.

 In June John won his last qualifying fight against a big time fighter named Kallie Knoetze to earn himself a shot at the title.  Then came October and with it came John’s big opportunity.  

In the sweltering heat of an outdoor boxing ring in Pretoria, South Africa stood Gerrie Coetzee, and just beyond him sat Big John’s mark - the world’s heavyweight championship title belt which had been given up by the retiring; greatest of all time, Muhammad Ali.    We all knew Coetzee didn’t stand a chance!     That night Knoxville, Tennessee for the first and only time in its history became the hometown of the World’s Heavyweight Boxing Champion.   Unfortunately, this notoriety only lasted a little more than five months, or exactly one unsuccessful defense of the title.   In March of 1980 Mike Weaver knocked out Big John in the waning minutes of the fifteenth round of the championship bout fought in Knoxville, in which John was winning very handily. Things began to change drastically from that day forward.

Years of sacrifice, strife, struggle, and determination all folded onto the canvas in the suddenly still body of Big John as he laid face down before a packed crowd and a world-wide pay-to-view audience.   For an instance I thought about the last amateur fight I fought just months earlier, though I wasn’t knocked out, I did make it to the canvas a time or two.  I admit, I cried as my large friend was helped out of the ring as it hurt me to see him hurt, it was never supposed to happen like that!

We spoke briefly only once after that night– but for me it appeared he was no longer the same person or fighter from that point on.  That dramatic loss in the ring took its toll on Big John in many ways.   Despite an ailing back he fought soon after his defeat, and again he lost.   His swagger was gone, his confidence was crushed, and I suspect he began to feel like a failure for the first time since his poverty-stricken upbringings in a rural area of eastern Arkansas.

The parasites that had latched onto, (and began to take advantage of his good nature) after he had won the title all but disappeared over night.   Only the really desperate hung around at this point, and with them they brought drugs, alcohol, and despair.   Big John was no longer that “Big” of a deal for the world, and he began to disappear into the shadows of the dark side of life.        

I’ll never forget the call I received from my mom a few years later, as I lived in Nashville at the time, to tell me that she had been robbed at knife-point while sitting at her business desk that day.  And of all people, the perpetrator was none other than John.   She said she talked with him about me, and our past – yet he still insisted she turn over the company’s cash – which she did just before calling the authorities.   Again I cried for my friend!   Then at the early age of 43 John died in a car accident which was caused by a massive stroke, where large  consumptions of cocaine over a twenty-four hour period was seen as a major contributing factor.  Suddenly, life was over for this one time champion of the world.

A lifetime of effort - yet only five months of glory - how very sad!

What I’ve found true is; chasing after the riches of this world so often leads to such tragic endings.  To some degree we can all relate to the story of Big John Tate.    Most of us never reach the world-wide acclaim he did, but in many ways we become the Heavyweight Champs of our own makings.   We focus intently on our man-made mark, and we focus our vision on nothing else.  Careers, homes, so-called hobbies, children, and yes sometimes even a ministry becomes the gleam of vision for our title hopes.  Yet, all the while God stands patiently waiting on the sidelines.    Not cheering, or booing, but merely looking on at the mess we make of our lives while we chase after our own version of fame, fortune, and security. 

For many, (self included) our determination to do things our own way can even unfortunately lead us to succeed in many areas of life where God is not.   We bask in the spotlight, take a victory lap around the ring, buy the bar a round of drinks, and begin to smoke those really big expensive cigars.   We fool ourselves into believing that because of our success God must somehow be pleased with it.  We begin to live the “highlife” which almost always attracts the “low-lives” of the world.   They latch on, bilk us for all we choose to give them, then when we fall face down on the canvas they run off looking for the next free-ride.      

Last night during the playing of a Rick Warren Forty Days of Purpose video I was reminded that we often suffer through hard times of our own makings, yet we want to blame God.    We get angry, we get frustrated, and we get rebellious.   And from this, we often reach a point where we want to fight God instead of learn from Him.  Then Pastor Warren made the comment that triggered the thought for this journal item, and he said, “Just remember, our arms are way too short to box with God.”

Big John was a mighty warrior in the boxing ring.   I witnessed him leave his corner at the sound of the opening bell, walk immediately up to his skilled opponent and knock him out within the first minute of the fight, something very few can say they’ve done.  I saw him beat down his opponent in the sweltering heat of South Africa to win the title he had sought for so long, again something very few can say they’ve done.   Yet, I’ve come to understand this about him; he couldn’t handle the idea of being a failure much better than he could, being a success.   Without God in his life he was never going to be who or what he was intended to be.  And my failing to tell him this while training in the same facility day after day at an important point in his life is where I failed him as a friend, as a Christian.

In a letter the apostle Paul wrote;  Timothy, my son, I am giving you this command in keeping with the prophecies once made about you, so that by recalling them you may fight the battle well,   You see, Paul wanted to make sure his friend knew he needed God always to direct his path and to never rely on his own abilities to win the fight. 

I believe God has great things in store for His true believers, and by recalling this, and keeping our focus on His purpose for our lives we will find the strength to fight the good fight.   We’ll be constantly reminded as to where our strength comes from, and to whom we should give the credit and praise for the victories.    By doing so, we’ll avoid suffering a stunning fifteenth round knock-out by hearing our Lord say “depart from me, I never knew you.”     

In the clearing stands a boxer – and a fighter by his trade - he carries the reminders of every glove that laid him down or cut him till he cries out in his anger and his shame I am leaving, I am leaving but the fighter still remains.

Big John is not just the former Heavyweight Champion of the boxing world, or someone I called friend for a brief time in my life, but he’s also a very sad personal reminder to me of what comes from becoming a “champion of this world.”  

    Still struggling to fight the good fight…..           doug

The Floodwaters Will Most Certainly Rise

Sitting home Monday evening watching the rain pour down from our metal roof my mind drifted away to a time and place I haven’t been in a while.  To New Orleans, a city that has attached itself somehow to my soul.  I have a yearning deep within me to live there and serve God by serving the people of the town. Not a calling to stand on a corner of Bourbon street and yell out scriptures concerning the damnation of sinners, (for there’s plenty of those already) but rather as a living example of God’s mercy and forgiveness.

I’d like to think that somehow what I’m doing now is in preparation for what I’ll do in New Orleans.  Maybe somehow He’s setting all of this up, (me opening two successful businesses in the past two years) as a way to secure the financial means I’ll need when I get there.  Truth is, I just don’t know.   I only know that there’s been that connection for a long, long time.     


Someday I’ll know more about God’s plan, I’m sure of that!  I hold to that.  I seek that. But right now, I’ve settled into a role of serving the folks right here in my own community.  Good folk.  Hard working folk.  Troubled folk.  Folks with a need to see God work in their lives.  Sometimes I sit around wishing I could do more, but my maturity as a Christian reminds me not to get out ahead of God, again.  


Looking back, I haven’t written many journal items this past year.  Lots going on, I guess.  I’ve started numerous items that are still left undone and call to me from time to time.   I’ll know when it’s right with God, and then the item will take the shape He intends.  Till then they’ll sit, and I’ll seek.   One unfinished item I started long ago (2007 the computer tells me) is the following item.   It’s not colored with any feel-good story, or funny anecdote, it’s pretty much a plain and simple reminder of things we’ve all learned over the years.  Today God said share it, so I am.


"Why do you call me 'Lord, Lord,' and not do what I tell you? Everyone who comes to me and hears my words and does them, I will show you what he is like: he is like a man building a house, who dug deep and laid the foundation on the rock. And when a flood arose, the stream broke against that house and could not shake it, because it had been well built" (Luke 6:46-48). 


August 2005, Hurricane Katrina hit the southern United States and flood waters surged over New Orleans like a filling bathtub. Homes crumbled beneath the waters, and entire neighborhoods were simply swept away.  Many asked; how God could let something that bad happen. 


Bad things are going to happen--that's a given. Jesus says, "When a flood arose" (Luke 6:47).


 Not if, but when the storm comes.


Jesus never promised life would be easy. He never said if we believe in Him, He'll take away all of our trouble. What He said is; He will be there with us to help us through those times of trouble. 
Jesus gave the people three steps to building the kind of foundation that lasts. They were (and are) to come to Him, to listen to His teaching, and to obey. 


Jesus says, " Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest" (Matthew 11:28). (A scripture I quote so often in this journal.) The bottom-line is, God desires a personal relationship with you and He has extended an invitation to you/us through His Son, Jesus. 


God has given us His Word, the Bible. Through it we can learn how God desires for us to live and the blessings He has in store for us.  Us, all we have to do is not ignore or forsake it. Don’t let it sit there collecting dust, or allow others to plant into our minds and hearts a false version of its teachings.


After we've come to Jesus and heard His Word, it's up to us to put that Word into practice in our lives. That's the part that so many people refuse to do. The Bible says, "For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks intently at his face in a mirror" (James 1:23). These people are the ones who crumble when the tough times come. 


The flood waters are coming—be wise, build your foundation on the Rock.   doug


And that was about as far as I got in 2007 with this item.


“The flood waters are coming” boy was that ever a prophetic statement four years ago.  In 2011 we as a nation are very similar to New Orleans after Katrina - we’re trying to find the strength and courage to rebuild, to clean up, and put back together what God has entrusted to us.  All the blame of failure has been shifted from FEMA to the White House, and the levees that broke this time was our very own financial system. 


It’s so much easier to point a finger of blame, to yell and scream out ridiculous lies and half-truths, to criticize every move that is made by those working hard to solve the problems.   It’s much easier than coming up with a workable solution on our own.  To getting off our backsides and help “fix” what needs fixed in our own backyards.  It’s much easier than being a “doer”.


Truth is; we’re not even sure the floodwaters have reached their peak yet.  Has the river crested yet?  Have we seen the worst of damage and destruction, or is this really just the beginning of the end for the great nation we call our United States?


I know this; until we reach out and take each other’s hand and we help pull those being sweep away in the currents to a safe place. Until we stop complaining and start slinging sand bags.   Until we open our cupboards as well as our hearts up to our starving neighbors we’ll continue to see more and more perish in the storm.


We have to get, not just ourselves to that solid foundation, yet we have to help our neighbors get there as well.   We have to stop screaming out abusive comments and statements about our leaders, and start teaching and preaching God’s message of hope, mercy, grace, forgiveness, and LOVE.  It’s hard to get that message across all the while talking ugly (as my mom used to say) about someone else.


We need to be about our Father’s work.  We need to be building up, not tearing down. We need to rethink our position, our actions, our attitudes, our words. And that goes for me personally. Maybe my New Orleans has been swept north by the floodwaters and actually lies right here in North Central Alabama now?  Maybe this is the opportunity God has been preparing me for all along.


“And when a flood arose, the stream broke against that house and could not shake it, because it had been well built"


The flood waters are coming, or maybe they’re already here —and again I say; be wise, build your foundation on the Rock.


     doug

Are we bigger than our message?

Let me ask you; How would you describe yourself?

Really?

Okay, how would you describe Jesus?

Were there similar words you used for both?

Loving, caring, perfect, faithful, passionate…that’s some of the words I use to describe Jesus.

For whatever reason the writers of the books from the New Testament didn’t see a need to give much of a physical description of the most important man in history – was he tall, was he short, was he skinny, fat, balding, had big ears and a long nose?  Come on guys, what did he look like?  The truth is, we know very little of how he looked, but I think the Bible did say something to the effect; He wasn’t much to look at, and had a dark complexion; but that’s about it, as far as I recall.

The way we describe Jesus comes from what we draw from the stories we’ve read or have been told.  It comes from our personal experiences with him, as he lives in our hearts even today. How He's stuck with us at times when it didn't seem practical. Although so little is known about the physical looks of the man that gives life to lyrics such as these, does it matter? 

God sent His son, they called Him Jesus

 He came to love, heal, and forgive.

 He lived and died to buy my pardon,

 An empty grave is there to prove my Savior lives.

Because He lives, I can face tomorrow.

 Because He lives, all fear is gone.

 Because I know He holds the future,

 And life is worth the living just because He lives.

Now let me ask you, how would others describe you?  How would you describe me? Would the same words that we use to describe Jesus come to mind if our friends were pressed to describe us?  We would like to think so, now wouldn’t we?

If you were asked to describe your spouse, best friend, or favorite sibling; would you describe their physical features or talk about the message and the impact they’ve had on your life and others?

I recently was asked to be a character witness for a person in a federal trial on a criminal firearms charge.  Have you ever had to do that?   Yeah, me neither before now!   What do I say?  How do I describe a person’s character that I actually know very little about?  The only reason I know him is because I bonded him out on the charge of manufacturing meth about a year ago.  That’s not usually a good start to a new friendship, now is it?  After his dad put up a down payment for his bail I had him sign an agreement to pay me a certain amount of money over a certain period of time exactly as he insisted he could do while he was behind bars calling me every other day.  But did he?   NO!  Did he even come close to upholding his commitment to me?  NO!  Am I really the one they want testifying to this man’s character?  NO!  Am I still a bit angry and frustrated because this guy lied to me, cheated me out of money, and took advantage of my willingness to help him?  YES!

It would be much easier for me to describe this guy’s physical appearance than to describe his character.  I could do that without much thought, but that’s not exactly what they want me to testify to.  So I’m forced to look for the “good” in him that I’ve come to see over the past year.  The truth is, there’s little that I’ve witnessed or heard from him that I believe to be sincere and true.  Oh sure, I’ve heard a lot of stuff I highly suspect he thinks I want to hear, but quite honestly I don’t know that I believe much of it.  For instance, he checked himself into a drug rehab center a couple of months ago, yet I believe it was more out of desperation to “appear” to be doing the right thing before the court, rather than really reaching a point where he wants to stop doing drugs.  That’s just my opinion though – I hope I’m wrong.

After I got him out of jail on the drug charges, he immediately went right back to using drugs, but that didn’t surprise me.  He even told me as I was taking him home, after spending nine months in jail free of drugs that he had no intentions of stopping.  I remember thinking, geez buddy at least lie about it until you get out of my car, come on.

As time went by he couldn’t get or keep a job mainly because he kept failing drug tests or background checks.  So week after week, month after month went by and I received no payments from him.  Quite honestly I should have put him back in jail a long time ago, but I didn’t.   You see, I don’t blame him for the situation nearly as much as I do myself.  If I get someone like him out of jail (a jobless, long standing crack and meth addict who was “caught” making his own deadly mixture of drain cleaner, battery acid, antifreeze, and sinus medicine) and expect him to be reliable, trust worthy, and an upstanding citizen -  then really, can I blame anyone other than myself when it doesn’t happen? 

So why would I be willing to testify as a witness to his “character”?   I had to think about that myself for a bit and finally I concluded, isn’t that what Jesus did?  Didn’t he try and see the good in those around him?  Wasn’t that part of His message to us?  How many of His parables included Samaritans, and other despised people in the eyes of the Jews.  Just look at the guys he chose to be His disciples.   Tax collectors, fishermen, unemployed, unwanted by other Rabis, liars, deniers, fearful - come on, not exactly the cream of the crop here.  But, to Him he saw something in each one that led him to believe he could entrust them to spread his message long after his departure.  Look at those He’s chosen to be his followers today - people like you and I. So why look for the good in this guy, I guess because it shows Christ in me I’ve concluded!  

 So let’s see now;

Okay, I know this, he really loves his girlfriend.  She got caught along with him on the manufacturing charge and has been serving a rehab sentence in the northern part of the state.  And even though he didn’t ever have any money to pay me, he regularly found a way to go visit her, give her money to help pay her bills, etc.   So in short, he loves her more than he loves his own freedom, for surely he had to know there was a chance, (even a slight one) that he could go back to jail if he didn’t pay me.   So, he’s very loyal to those he loves.  There’s one!    

Since he couldn’t pay me in cash, I’ve tried to have him do some work around the house and office to pay off his debt.  Whether it was resealing windows, hanging storm doors, putting up fencing, planting trees, whatever - he always seemed to take particular care in doing the job right.  I’ve never known him to take short cuts just to get the job done faster.  So, number two – he’s conscientious about the quality of his work efforts.

Over the past year he and I have had a lot of conversations about God and I’ve come to know that he really does want to know God more, and he really does want a personal relationship with Christ.  He’s just like most of us at one time or another, he struggles to let go of the things that keeps us from turning our lives over to serving God, rather than simply knowing, or talking about God.  Number three - he has a heart that’s still tender enough it longs to be reunited with its maker.   It may not seem like it on the surface, but that’s a biggie!

He respects and loves his dad, this I fully believe.  I see a lot of me and my son, in him and his dad’s relationship. I guess that’s partially why I keep hanging on with him.  I don’t want to see their story come crashing down.  Deep down, I keep hoping for a happy ending for them, us.  I need that hope!  He truly loves his Pop - number four.

And that’s really about it!  Is it enough to make a difference before a Federal judge, I don’t know.  Do these things add up to what society would call “good character” I guess they do, if you didn’t know about all the other ‘stuff” in his life.  Just like Jesus does with us, I call this man my friend, for how could I not - when you get right down to it, there ain't much difference in the two of us!  

You see, for him, just like with me - his message is so much greater than his words, his physical appearance, his past, present, and future.  Yet, in comparison, we look at certain people that reach "celebrity" status in our society and we only see “them” and not their message.  Thier "persona" becomes bigger than their message. We develop a distorted image of who we think they are because it lacks knowledge of what their message is. That’s all the television shows, magazine covers, news reels show us - how they look, what they’re wearing, where they’re going or coming, etc, etc. It’s usually about the time their fifteen minutes of fame is about to crash and burn before we ever see or hear what their true message is. 

Unlike the shallow view we have of the so-called celebrities of this world, our true message, just like the guy I’ve been writing about, stands tall above the person we project to be, just as God’s message of hope through his Son does for us.  Read these lyrics again and see exactly what it says about His character. 

God sent His son, they called Him Jesus

He came to love, heal, and forgive.

He lived and died to buy my pardon,

An empty grave is there to prove my Savior lives.

Because He lives, I can face tomorrow.

Because He lives, all fear is gone.

Because I know He holds the future,

And life is worth the living just because He lives.

Great message of hope, huh?  It's not about His, or our physical apperance, it's about the message!   So as you go along your way this week, let me suggest this; Look for the good in others, even if it’s hard to see sometimes.  Here's a tougher challange for some of us;  Look for the good in yourself also, for as I've found, it most likely will come in the form of Christ’s message resounding in your spirit.

Look at God’s message through the story of His Son, and be thankful He cares enough about us to look past the ugly, look past the wrongs we’ve committed, look past all of the bad in our lives, and He still sees some glimmer of hope for us - that He loved us enough He allowed his only Son to die on a cross for us.

 That’s a message none of us will ever be bigger than, believer, or non-believer!  Doug

Broken things

You can have my heart, though it isn't new,

It's been used and broken, and only comes in blue,

It's been down a long road, and it got dirty along the way,

If I give it to you, will you make it clean and wash the shame away?

You can have my heart, if you don't mind broken things,

You can have my life; you don't mind these tears,

Well, I heard that you make old things new, so I give these pieces all to you,

If you want it, you can have my heart.

So beyond repair, nothing I could do,

I tried to fix it myself, but it was only worse when I got through,

Then you walk right into my darkness and you speak words so sweet,

And you hold me like a child, 'til my frozen tears fall at your feet.

You can have my heart, if you don't mind broken things,

You can have my life if you don't mind these tears,

Well, I heard that you make old things new, so I give these pieces up to you,

If you want it, you can have my heart.

                                   Lyrics written by: BUDDY & JULIE MILLER


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=so_VRTb-HWQ



Broken things, we all have our own stories, lasting pain, tear-filled testimonies and excruciating experiences. The depth of pain we’ve suffered when we’ve been broken is driven deep into the core of whom, and what we are. Missing children, years and relationships lost to addictions of every kind, a lost love, untimely deaths, tragic endings. We’ve suffered, oh yes we’ve suffered indeed. Almost always a broken heart is tied directly to another, to a relationship, to a love. Broken hearts never mend completely, regardless what we’ve been told - you know it, and I know it. Just examine your heart today, see the tiny and not so tiny cracks that run through it like a roadmap of your past. Our brokenness isn’t always caused by another, although we love to point a finger of blame. Lots of broken things in our lives we’ve created our self, and to add to the mess, many around us suffer because of our brokenness.


Broken things, hearts, will, health, marriage, relationship with your child, with your parent, with reality, with yourself, with God. These or something similar most certainly affect all of us in one manner or another. Broken lives aren’t relegated to the homeless shelters and rehab centers, or reality TV, oh no. The fanciest suburbs in American hide away many a broken soul. The biggest churches in the land are chocked full of folks crying out in anguish, yet the one sitting beside them in the pew is relatively unaware of what their neighbor is dealing with. A forced smile takes care of that - a nod, a handshake, a reassuring; “fine, everything is fine, how bout you?” Pressing downward the tears and shattered feelings that are so ready to explode from within. Drug addiction, alcoholism, hatred, racism, greed, envy, religion, self-inflicting wounds of every sort has taken control of so many lives in our communities. Yes, even our own at times.


We can all sing along with Julie, we can all first-handedly feel the pain and sorrow in her song, for it is oh so very real to us. Let’s admit the hard truth of the matter, were either broken right now, we’ve been broken in the past and it still affects us in some way, or we’ll be broken in the future and we’ll struggle as to how to handle it. There’s no denying it - nary a one of us can forever avoid the Humpty-Dumpty syndrome; it’s simply a part of living.

Humpty-Dumpty sat on a wall;

Humpty-Dumpty had a great fall.

All the King's horses

And all the King's men

Couldn't put Humpty together again!

Though all the good doctors, pharmaceutical companies, therapist, preachers, King’s horses, as well as King’s men try desperately to put us back together again, they/we fail.


I don’t know about you, but there’s been more than one occasion where I’ve tried to “fix” myself. There’s been more than once I’ve tried to pull myself up by the britches leg, tidy up the room, sweep the hurt under the rug, and put on an; “I’m over it now let’s move on” kinda front.” Yet, sooner or later the façade would eventually crumble and out pours the brokenness all over again. Improperly dealing with broken things in our lives is what powers the wheels that create the ever-revolving cycles we go through over and over again. Like a dog wrapping itself around a tree with its chain. Sooner or later we’re pinned to the tree and we can’t figure out what’s going on, or how to get out of the mess we’ve created for ourselves.


We try desperately, and with great earnest to fix ourselves, yet tragically we fail each and every-time. We’re not the first people to do this. Oh no, the history of mankind is filled with examples of folks trying to put Humpty-Dumpty back together again, we’re just the latest. Remember the woman in the Bible with the bleeding condition who for twelve years had spent everything she had on healings of every sort. Sounds so familiar to the stories we hear of today from the lives of friends, relatives and strangers. Well actually the 8th Chapter of the Gospel of Luke is filled with examples of many broken things - some a little more subtle that others. How many can you find?


40 On the other side of the lake the crowds welcomed Jesus, because they had been waiting for him. 41 Then a man named Jairus, a leader of the local synagogue, came and fell at Jesus’ feet, pleading with him to come home with him. 42 His only daughter,[a] who was about twelve years old, was dying.


As Jesus went with him, he was surrounded by the crowds. 43 A woman in the crowd had suffered for twelve years with constant bleeding,[b] and she could find no cure. 44 Coming up behind Jesus, she touched the fringe of his robe. Immediately, the bleeding stopped.


45 “Who touched me?” Jesus asked.


Everyone denied it, and Peter said, “Master, this whole crowd is pressing up against you.”


46 But Jesus said, “Someone deliberately touched me, for I felt healing power go out from me.” 47 When the woman realized that she could not stay hidden, she began to tremble and fell to her knees in front of him. The whole crowd heard her explain why she had touched him and that she had been immediately healed. 48 “Daughter,” he said to her, “your faith has made you well. Go in peace.”


49 While he was still speaking to her, a messenger arrived from the home of Jairus, the leader of the synagogue. He told him, “Your daughter is dead. There’s no use troubling the Teacher now.”


50 But when Jesus heard what had happened, he said to Jairus, “Don’t be afraid. Just have faith, and she will be healed.”


51 When they arrived at the house, Jesus wouldn’t let anyone go in with him except Peter, John, James, and the little girl’s father and mother. 52 The house was filled with people weeping and wailing, but he said, “Stop the weeping! She isn’t dead; she’s only asleep.”


53 But the crowd laughed at him because they all knew she had died. 54 Then Jesus took her by the hand and said in a loud voice, “My child, get up!” 55 And at that moment her life[c] returned, and she immediately stood up! Then Jesus told them to give her something to eat


Whether you’re broken from living with a long-lasting disease, the recent news you have cancer, the untimely death of a loved one, a sad ending to a love that was supposed to last a lifetime, or simply from the uncertainty of who is truly Lord over your life, – this I know; broken things can only be fixed at one place, at the feet of Jesus. He truly can make all things new again - bodies, lives, hearts of love, marriages, relationships, purpose, ministries, and much, much more. He is truly the restorer of peace, health, emotional soundness, all of our Humpty-Dumptiness. We just have to stop denying we’re broken, quit trying to fix ourselves and let Him do what He wants to do for us. Julie and Buddy acknowledge this with their words;

So beyond repair, nothing I could do,

I tried to fix it myself, but it was only worse when I got through,

Then you walk right into my darkness and you speak words so sweet,

And you hold me like a child, 'til my frozen tears fall at your feet.

Dear Lord, we come to you asking that you walk into the darkness of the lives of those that are broken today, those that have tried so hard to fix themselves, those that are at the point of giving up simply because the pain is too severe and their hope has been lost. Lord we ask you to touch their lives, to take them in your arms and hold them like a child, til their / our frozen tears fall at your feet. Restore us Oh Lord, give us hope renewed - fix our brokenness, please. Amen Doug