Long before I started sharing these journal items through this venue, I would weekly email one out to what grew to be several thousand readers.    If you weren't one of those that received them via email, then you haven't read this one yet.  If you did receive the email versions, then I pray that  it may help in some way for you to receive these messages again.   Over the next few months I'll post a few of the older items from this journal.   I hope you'll find the time to read and share.   With HIS love and purpose!   Doug

BEING USED ?

I doubt very seriously I have the market cornered on feeling like I've been used from time to time by certain people.    Sometimes I find myself being susceptible to being used because of my nature to try and help people or somehow to “rescue” even those that don't want to be rescued.   I've done it my whole life.  Always with good intentions, but so often with failed results.   It's taking me a long time to finally come to the realization that I am not a rescuer – I'm a rescuee.  

Come on now, I know I'm not the only out there that has suffered with this “Rescuer persona” am I?  I didn't think so!    I guess sometimes an unhealthy desire to be useful can lead one to become available to unintentional hurt feelings and yes, even intentional abuse.    Being used leaves an ugly aftertaste doesn't it?   It often can lead to a partial or permanent shut down of compassion and willingness to help others can't it?   It most certainly creates some level of bitterness in our hearts and we all know the devastating effects that can have on our lives.  Did you know that doctors now believe bitterness, guilt and un-forgiveness are significant causes of numerous physical ailments we consistently suffer with throughout our lives.   If I'm not mistaken there was mention of this in a medical book of sorts written thousands of years ago  - it's called the Bible.  You should really check it out, it’s a crackin-good read, especially if you're suffering today from the feeling of being used.  

There's being used and then there is being USED.   One is seemingly an abusive situation and the other is definitely a situation of obedience.   Let me ask you, are you being used today?   If in the negative sense, then what are you going to do to change your circumstance?   And if you're not being used in the positive form then what are you going to do to change your circumstance?    To be used by God for his purpose most certainly can expose you to abuse, but at least you'll have ONE that will protect you, comfort you, and defend you.  You'll still be abused, but at least you'll have a refuge.   I believe many people never allow themselves to risk the possible exposure to abuse, ridicule, and embarrassment simply so God can use them in a meaningful way.   As long as all they are “called” to do is serve coffee in the foyer on Sunday mornings, or stand in the choir loft and lift up their voices in praise, or maybe even host a small group at their house during the week they're okay with that kind of being used by God – but that's it, absolutely no further.    Now don't get me wrong these are all important ways of serving God, but is this really the fullness of what Jesus commanded from us before returning to the Father?   

I believe I used this statistic before, but it’s worth repeating -  an evangelical survey from a couple of years ago showed that over 95% of all people professing to be Christians will never, (not even once) purposely share their testimony with a non-believer throughout the entirety of their life. Sure, they'll sit around with other believers and go on and on about all the things God has done in their lives, but risk sounding like an idiot in front of someone that may not even believe there is a god.....never.

    Being used is available for everyone, but apparently it isn't for everyone. 

Ever wondered why God would choose to use such flawed people as communicators of His flawless message of hope?   Since He is after all the Almighty surly he could find a method to deliver the gospel without having to use us, couldn't he?   I read somewhere the words; “On their worst night, "the heavens perfectly declare the glory of God."    So, why would He choose simple, inadequate, mortal, and fallible beings to showcase His Word to the world?   I guess we don't have a good answer for this. 

Except this explanation I read recently: “God chose the "nobodies" of this world so that any boasting could only be about Him. Though we stand in His light as we "preach the word," we must never block His beauty. We're to simply declare His written word, point to His Incarnate Word, and step aside so He can be seen.”

To be used can be a good thing!

A great example of this comes from an obscure scene in a village in Korea in the early part of the 1900s where William Blair served as a missionary.     After suffering through frustrating months of banging his head against the proverbial wall of disconnect he began to preach a message from I Corinthians 12:27: "Now, ye are the body of Christ, and severally members thereof, and if one member suffers all members suffer with it".

He was quoted later as saying, "I endeavored to show that discord in the church was like sickness in the body...striving to show how hate in a brother's heart affected not only the whole church, but Christ, as the Church's head". "   Many of the Koreans listening intently to his message began to testify as to a new realization of what sin was.    Many of them tearfully confessed lack of love for others, especially for the Japanese (who were then occupying the country)".   For some Koreans, this resentment and hate continues on even toady toward the Japanese.   Totally letting go is an issue for all people I think!

Blair saw this as a sign of progress after so many months of stalemate and two days later he and his associates called for a special prayer meeting for those wanting to move pass this issue and for them to  come together to “wrestle with God, not letting Him go until He had blessed them."    As the story goes, they did, and God did – for on that bitterly-cold winter night in January 1907, a missionary named Mr. Lee unexpectedly cut his sermon short, and asked if anyone wanted to pray.   A man volunteered to and then began confessing to the others and God that he had been harboring hatred in his heart toward other members of the church.  A second fellow followed his lead, then a third, and a fourth, and on it went.

Sensing this could go on and on throughout the night, (if each person did this individually) Mr, Lee said, "If you all want to pray like that, all pray".  Immediately the voices could be heard, the sobbing began almost deafening and throughout the church, confessions of bitterness against each other rose up.  The entirety of the congregation - 1,500 strong--dissolved itself in tears. 

Pastor Lee describe the scene this way: "Man after man would arise, confess his sins, break down and weep, and then throw himself to the floor, and beat the floor with his fists in perfect agony of conviction.  My own cook tried to make a confession, broke down in the midst of it, and cried, `Pastor, tell me, is there any hope for me, can I be forgiven' and then threw himself to the floor, and almost screamed in agony.  Sometimes after a confession, the whole audience would break out in audible prayer, and the effect of that audience of hundreds of men praying together in audible prayer was something indescribable.  Again, after another confession, they would break out in uncontrollable weeping, and we would all weep, we could not help it.  And so the meeting went on until two o'clock, am., with confession and weeping and praying".

Blaire's team of missionaries decided that God wasn't finished with his work in this area so again the next night they called the congregation together.   It suspected that most would've gathered even if the ministers had not called for a service – for a movement was taking place and the people wanted it, I mean really wanted it, finally.   That night two of the church officers were involved: Mr. Kang and Mr. Kim confessed mutual hatred for each other.  Then Mr. Kim confessed his hatred for another officer: "Pang Mok-sa" - which is Korean of William Blair.    Here was a leader of the Church, the man that had just delivered the sermon of his life the night before, confessing hatred and bitterness toward the one man that had given up everything to come to this country simply to be used by God.    I wonder if Blair began to feel, even for a second that he had been used by these people, the ones he had tried so desperately to serve?”   Kim turned to the man he had just confessed to hating and begged, "Can you forgive me?  Can you forgive me?"  Blair fell on Kim's shoulder and wept.  He began praying as if he had never done so before.   The missionary and his humbled assistant were restored before God and this stunned congregation. 

Later  Blair wrote: "My last glimpse of the audience was photographed indelibly on my brain.  Some threw themselves full length on the floor, hundreds stood with arms outstretched to heaven.  Every man forgot every other.  Each was face to face with God.  I can hear yet that fearful sound of hundreds of men pleading with God for life, for mercy.   The Spirit of God came down from heaven in a mighty avalanche of power fell upon us".

Here's the lessons I take from all of this.   In the scripture it talks about leaving the altar and go to your brother asking for forgiveness and only then return to ask the same from God.   For a heart filled with  un-forgiveness can't, or more accurately won't be forgiven.    Let me suggest, if you're hanging on to feelings of being used by someone then ask God to remove this from your heart.   If you need to ask for forgiveness from someone you've used in the past - do so.   Or if you need to be forgiven by someone you've secretly held hatred and bitterness toward then go to them and confess what they may or may not already know, and do it today.   For tomorrow may be too late! 

If you see yourself today as being used maybe it’s because your eyes are on yourself and not God.    Change your view and it'll change your view.   And if you've selfishly held back from allowing God to USE you in the fullness for his purpose, then whatta you say, let go and let God have his way in your life today.   Risk the exposure and allow yourself to be USED today.     Doug