REAL (originally written in 1983)

The other day I discovered a long lost copy of some of my early writings - this item being the oldest.  It was printed in the United Methodist Church weekly bulletin in Knoxville, Tennessee in 1983, the week after I moved to Nashville to start a new job in June of that year.  About eight years ago I included it in my book entitled; A View from the Fence. (A story for another time.)   It's interesting to see how my ideas have changed somewhat over the past 30 plus years, yet in so many ways they're still grounded in the same truths I knew way back then.   It's been quite a journey since I scribbled these thoughts - quite a journey indeed.      The original version was included in a thank you letter to all my friends in the church that I was leaving behind - those that had showed me on a daily basis what it truly meant to be Real.                                               

 “Real”

The lamp of the body is the eye.  If therefore your eye is good, your whole body will be full of light.  But if your eye is bad, your whole body will be full of darkness.  If therefore the light that is in you is darkness, how great is the darkness.        Matthew 6:22-23

"If therefore the light that is in you is darkness, how great is the darkness."    Wow, now how deep is that one!  So often we forget about the enormous philosophical overtures of the biblical scriptures, and only see the theological aspect of them, but sometimes sentences such as this just seems to scream out to us.  For the most part the writers of the scriptures as we read it today weren't known as the great thinkers of their day, they were more commonly known as, the great believers  but boy, some of their stuff is really really deep! That's really where the God inspired thing shows its validity if you ask me.  Man can't duplicate what God created. 

  

You may think what I am about to admit seems a bit shallow, (especially compared to the words of Jesus we just read) but what the heck.  My favorite book of all time is the children’s tale, The Velveteen Rabbit, by Margery Williams! Now I suspect, unless you have a small child, grandchildren, or work in a daycare center it’s probably a safe bet to say you haven’t read this story in quite a while.   Me, I’ve read it numerous times over the years.   A simple book, with lots of big pictures which is right down my alley! 

Actually, at the heart of the message from the Velveteen Rabbit is a moral which is much more geared for the grown up in spirit, than the small children we often read it to.  An adult level comprehension finds a meaning in the story that a child simply can’t understand.  I suggest if you haven’t read it lately, do so because it’s a tale for all ages. In the mean time I will paraphrase the jest of the Ms. Williams’ wonderful tale for us.

The boy, (whose name, by the way is never mentioned) gets a fat, bunchy, brown and white spotted velveteen rabbit for Christmas one year.   For almost two hours the boy loved and played with his rabbit, but in the excitement of the day, and the fun he had playing with his many gifts he soon forgot about ol’ mister rabbit.    Then we find the velveteen rabbit, (whose name, also is never mentioned) gets tossed in the boy’s room among his other toys that evening.

The rabbit began to feel out of place almost immediately, as the more expensive toys openly snubbed him.  (Ever been the new kid on the block? I certainly have!)  The only one that was kind to him was a cloth rocking horse that had lived in the boy’s room longer than any of the other toys.   After overhearing a conversation between a few of the other toys the rabbit asked the horse “What is real?”   The cloth horse caught off guard by the question, thought for a minute, and then responded.  

Real; well real is not about what you’re made of, or even how you’re made.  It doesn’t have anything to do with the fancy things you can do, or even what you’re able to say.

Real is something that happens to you over a long period of time, and it doesn’t come easy.  

Generally by the time you become real most of your hair has been loved off, and you begin to look pretty shabby.  Often you end up with a few loose stitches, a hand or ear that has had to be sewn back on, and you’re probably missing a bow, a shoe, or maybe even an eye that has popped out. 

The rocking horse finished by saying; “But you want to know the best part about becoming real, the best part is that it can never be taken away from you, because once you’re real it lasts for always.” 

The velveteen rabbit sat there overcome with sadness at the thought of it taking so long, and possibly very painful just to become real.  

Over time the boy grew very fond of his new toy, and soon they became inseparable.  After awhile the velveteen rabbit began to show signs of such an intimate relationship, (just as the horse had predicted years earlier).   Stains, rubbed off fur, loose stitches, missing ear, he had it all.  Then one day in defense of the rabbit (as it was suggested the rabbit be thrown away) the boy exclaimed to his nanny; My rabbit isn't a dirty worn out toy, “He's real!”  

Hearing those words made the rabbit so happy, and very proud, for now he was finally Real.

  

[Real, what a wonderful presence of existence, yet sadly some of us never make it to that point in our lives.   We end up spending most of our time pretending to be real, but deep down we never allow ourselves to be loved in a manner that's transforming at all.  We boast of being real, yet honestly we would rather not be real as to have our hair messed up, or risk the possibility of being hurt.   We live our lives everyday in fear that we will be hugged one too many times, and our stuffing will be exposed for the whole world to see.  The risk of ridicule and criticism is too great to chance, so we continue to live at an arms-distance away, pretending to be something we’re not.  All the while in our heart of hearts we know how we live isn't real at all, but it's safe, and living safely can become addictive. Living a life that is real is risky business.]

Whew, where did that come from?   Anyway, back to the children’s story…

Later, the boy developed Scarlet Fever and the doctor insisted the family destroy all of his toys, and bedding from his room in order to eliminate the bacteria from lingering,  (this is obviously the toughest part of the book to explain to the child while reading).  

As the rabbit sat outside with the pile of the other things to be burned he thought, “What good does it do to become real if this is how things are going to end up anyway?  And then, right at that very moment a tear began to roll down his furry little cheek.  A real tear, and from this tear he began to be transformed into a real bunny.  The other toys looked on in amazement as he hopped away into the woods and was saved.  Hurrah he thought, the old cloth rocking horse was right, real does exist, but then he became saddened at the thought of those toys, (some friends, and some that chose not to be) still lying there in the pile to be burned.  He wished somehow he could save them, each and every one, regardless how they felt about him.   

Later on, once the boy had fully recovered, he was outside playing again in the backyard when the rabbit, his rabbit, hopped out of the nearby woods and the two had a wonderful time playing together all day long.

Many a life has been wasted trying to disprove Jesus was in fact a real person – that he truly existed as a living, air-breathing being in the history of mankind.  Yet, many of those so-called researchers never reach a point where they can admit the truth that Jesus’ realness isn't merely proven in his physical existence, (which certainly exists) but also in the message of his words, and the example he gave through the recorded life he lived. 

Matthew 5:39-41, the lesson about turning the other cheek, - Luke 10:30-35, the good Samaritan story, - Mark 12:13-17 render unto Caesar which is Caesar’s, - Luke 16:1-8 the shrewd master parable, - Mark 10:31 the first will be last, warning, - Matthew 20:1-15, the instructions to love your enemies, (and my personal favorite) Matthew 20:1-15 the vineyard laborer story, where Jesus taught us the vitally important lessons of focusing on our own relationship with God, and not on our fellow man.

Seventy-three of the so-called greatest biblical scholars (from the Jesus Seminar Conferences) of our generation all agreed, without reservation that these scriptures, and many more came directly from the teachings from a man known as Jesus of Nazareth.   I don’t know about you, but this sure passes the smell test for me, so I declare, He is “Real”!

No good tree bears bad fruit, nor does a bad tree bear good fruit.  Each tree is recognized by its own fruit.  People do not pick figs from a thorn-bush, or grapes from the briers.  The good man brings good things out of the good that is stored up in his heart, and the evil man brings evil stored in his heart.  For out of the overflow of his heart, his mouth speaks.  Luke 6:43-45  Speaking / living out the language of realness, that was the message He shared, the same message mankind needs to hear today!

Us, with our re-sewn seams, repaired appendages, balding cover, and visible stuffing.   He, with his nailed-scarred hands, spear pierced side, and shredded forehead, - all signs of the wear and tear from the pathway to realness.   Us, from accepting (all too often reluctantly) the transforming type of love we truly need, and His from the rejection of those that feared He was actually who they said He was.  

What's so remarkable though, is the undeniable impact that this single man from some two thousand years ago, (in such a remote part of the world) has had on the lives of all those that have heard his name ever since.

Through, the love and admiration of so many millions of people throughout the world today- maintains the realness of the one we call Jesus, yet without it He would still be just as real.  We can only hope to ever achieve a speck of His type of realness in our own lives, which is exactly why we must strive to be more Jesus-like every day. 

Thanks to the wonderful story from Margery Williams we have a great reminder of the impact our love for each other can have, but just as importantly we also learn the hard truth about the distance between being real and otherwise - at least that's my take on it!  Being real means living a life that is anything but safe! To be real we must be willing to offer ourselves up for the possibility of being hurt or even killed for someone else - someone that very possibly would not do the same for you or me.  We must expose our vulnerabilities to others and have faith it will be okay in the end.  

Despite the skepticism of some scholars, I personally believe it is still Jesus today who reminds us to; “love your neighbor as you love yourself” and for me, that becomes a very big step on the road to becoming “Real” in my own life. How we love ourselves is fairly obvious, and how we love others becomes just as obvious to those around us.

(This ending is from the 1983 letter) I want to say a heartfelt thank you to all my friends I now leave behind in pursuit of a new beginning in Nashville.  I take with me all the lessons learned from the times we've spent together - leaning on each other, loving on each other, and most importantly, holding each other accountable - accountable to the quest of realness. 

With great love, His love, your servant for life, doug

JUST BENEATH THE SURFACE

Jennifer and Amanda had been best friends since grade school but there has always been a bit of jealousy and resentment between them.  Jennifer hated the way the boys always showed Amanda more attention than her and Amanda has, as long as she could remember, always despised the way Jennifer would kind of ignore her if Kelli was around.   Neither girl had any clue about the other’s resentment.  Petty stuff between school kids yes, but as the two became adults the fallout from their unresolved resentment of certain things toward each other took its toll on the relationship. 

As they grew older and moved from grade school to high school the list of things they resented about each other grew longer and longer, yet they were all still pretty much just petty issues in the big scheme of life.  Teenagers don’t often have a big scheme of things perspective about life, though you’ll never convince them of that. Sadly, over time they grew apart and eventually stopped talking to each other all together.  Oh sure, they still consider each other a close friend, but the potential their relationship had in the beginning is now lost. 

The problem really isn’t the issues they have with each other or even the jealousy and resentment it brought about, it is the fact the girls are unable to resolve their differences because they allow it to continue to lay just beneath the surface rather than address it.   Neither girl wants to do or say anything to hurt the other’s feelings. Both treasured their friendship enough they would never do anything to cause a riff between them, yet neither one understands their unresolved resentment was doing exactly that all along.  

Let me ask you; How many relationships have you had in your past that ended unfulfilled because of a jealousy or resentment issue, either on your part or theirs?  I suspect the truth is we’ve all had a few too many, even if it was just one!  Marriages end every day because of it, but in the legal world they call it irreconcilable differences. Sometimes relationships end, or never really begin and we have no clue as to why. Quite often its’ because of some issue that went unresolved by one or both parties.  

What often seems like such a small issue, not really worthy of our time and attention, can lead to a major erosion of something much bigger.  In the case of Jennifer and Amanda, what seemed too petty to risk the possibility of damaging their treasured relationship, ended up killing off their friendship altogether.  At times it’s something much bigger though, the hurt or wrong isn't petty, it’s deeply felt.  Those are the ones that become the toughest to reconcile within ourselves, much less with the offender.  

A long, long time ago I went to tech school to get an Associate Degree in Business Data Processing. It was back before the personal computer was invented – that long ago.  I still remember how much I loved my favorite class, Flow-charting.  Most of you know what flow-charting is, but if that term is new to you, here is a simple explanation.  It’s an effort to trace all of the affects a particular item has on everything around it. Which if you’re writing computer programs that process becomes vitally important.  Now, I admit you have to be pretty strange to love flow-charting, but it was right down my ally.  I've always been fascinated to see how the cause and affect process is so vivid in our everyday circumstances.  Strange – yep, that’s me!

A very common use of a flow-chart is probably something we've all looked at from time to time and didn't even see it as being a flow-chart - an organizational chart at the business you work.   Most companies have one, it’s usually strategically placed where everyone can be visually reminded exactly where they fit in and just how higher up the ladder your bosses are than you. 

Organizational charts almost always are the same regardless the company you work for in America.  They usually have the CEO or President at the top, then on the next level it’ll have far too many Vice-Presidents, then below them is a bunch of executive managers that do very little except day dream of a day when they get to move up to a VP position.  The flow-charting continues all the way down until it gets to the bottom line, which is usually the people that actually get the work done that pays the salaries and bonuses for all those positions above their level on the organizational chart.  Ten chiefs for every Indian, as the old saying goes!  I love the Japanese version of the organizational chart; it’s an upside down version of the American one.  The real workers are at the top instead of the bottom, and it goes all the way down until you get to the last line where the Big Cheese is listed.  I’m pretty sure their pay structure is the same as here in America though, but at least on paper it looks really good. Anyway back to my point about flow-charting.

The reason I brought up flow-charting is this, just beneath the surface of an issue such as hurt or anger is always another issue that is tied to it, such as resentment or un-forgiveness, etc.  What I’m learning more and more by examining my own life is; regardless the issue I find that I have, there are always parasite issues attached to it and they all need to be resolved, not just the one on the surface.  I’ve found I can’t address an issue of un-forgiveness without tracing it back to where it originated, and usually that’s where I’ll find another issue that needs to be resolved as well.   It’s a hard process, but I’m really trying!  I’m sincerely asking the Holy Spirit to open my eyes to these issues so I can grow as a person and stop doing damage to myself and those around me.   I’m pretty sure I’ll never get finished but I know it’s imperative to subject myself to this process.  I admit, I hate it when God shines his flashlight on an issue in my life that I’m not ready to deal with.  It’s like ugggh; can’t I just let that one go for a while, it doesn’t seem like such a big deal, but God sees the big picture.  He knows what our flow-chart looks like and He understands how the things that look insignificant to us are always connected to something much more damaging to our overall well-being.

Resentment, hurt, bitterness, and un-forgiveness can eat us alive as bad as or maybe even worse than any physical disease can. Just as it is with cancer or some other disease, the longer it is left unattended to develop and grow and attach itself beneath the surface, the harder it is to eradicate.  

Some of us harbor resentment toward God for things in our past.  How could he allow my precious baby to die?  How could he allow the only woman I’ve ever loved to leave me for another man?   How could he allow our house to burn to the ground, or our business to fail, or my elderly mom or dad to suffer the way they are?  Some resentment comes from hurt and pain that is anything but petty!  So how do we reconcile those issues?  Where’s the flowchart for that kind of pain or problem?  How do I forgive that level of hurt or mistrust?  The answer is always the same – Jesus!  We'll never understand everything that happens to us in life, but we know this; we can trust Jesus to be there with us while we're dealing with it if we only ask. 

Recently I was reminded once again just how brief life here on earth is, and just how unpredictable our future can be.  Carrying around baggage like resentment, bitterness, un-forgiveness adds so much stress to our lives and certainly reduces the amount of time we have to enjoy this life to the fullness.  When you think about it, the amounts of damage and pain we unintentionally inflict on our bodies and minds physically, mentally, and emotionally are unreal!  

I’m convinced this is the kind of STUFF Jesus is referring to when he says; Come all who are burdened and heavy laden, I will give you rest.  Place My yoke upon you, for it is light.   We have to be willing at some point in our lives to lay it all down and resist the urge to pick it back up again!  We must walk away – walk in the direction of the light and away from the darkness. He will rescue us – He will show us how to forgive, where to find strength, peace and comfort in times of grief, turmoil, strife, and chaos.  I ask you; what is it that we suffer that Jesus hasn’t suffered as well? 

 I’m praying for all the Jennifers and Amandas out there, struggling with the resentment and un-forgiveness laying just beneath the surface of their lives. doug