Anna Maria is 87 years old. She’s “a practicing Catholic, but hasn’t been to Mass in many years.” She loves to play Bridge. Her husband died quite a few years ago, but she “didn’t stop wanting to have sex” - she “just never found the right guy”, and “didn’t want to jump into bed with just anyone that came along.” She came to this country as a small girl from Germany during a time when it was “really bad” (after WWI and before WWII). If you know your world history, you know what she’s talking about.
She spent most of the last quarter century in Florida. Her husband worked at the nuclear development plant in Oak Ridge during the heydays of the cold war era, and retired early so they could spend time enjoying life. A couple of years after her husband died she moved back to east-Tennessee only to see her daughter move to Santa Fe. Anna Maria wanted to stay here, so she didn’t go to Santa Fe, because according to her “this is home.” Her son still lives here along with numerous grandchildren, and eight great-grand children.
Anna Maria is someone I just met Saturday evening, and those are just a few of the things she shared with me within the first thirty minutes. She’s currently living out this last period of her life at St. Mary’s Hospice Center simply because she has become another victim of an untreatable form of cancer. I could only sit quietly in amazement as she continued to pull back the curtains of her life for me, a total stranger. Already my life has been improved by our encounter. What sincere and unpretentious honesty she possesses! I can’t help but wonder if she’s always been that way?
Yesterday was a busy day! We began by burying my aunt Barbara in a driving rainstorm. I stopped by and talked with a wonderful servant of God, Victoria about volunteer opportunities to help the homeless. I ate KFC with family at my uncle Ken’s - some of the eleven buckets, or so that were dropped off over the past three days by people that cared more about feeding those suffering from a loss, than whether they were depleting the chicken population of the world. I received a call from the owner of our company, Terry about what we needed to do to help out a fellow employee/friend in need. (Tom’s 80 year-old mother Virgina was almost beaten to death by robbers recently, and now the financial issues are mounting for them). I went by the Hospice Center and visited with my newest friend Anna Maria. I spent some time talking at length to a friend that has been called by God to leave everything behind and move to India to help orphaned children. And I concluded the day by teaching the second part of a series entitled, Honesty from Within to a group of amazing young people at a near by church. Who would have ever thought; that someone that couldn’t define the term “honesty” for most of his life could somehow be led by such an awesome God to teach others on the subject?
What a great day! Lest the funeral, I would love to lie in bed - mentally exhausted every night from such a meaningful itinerary.
Anna Maria made my teaching lesson last night so much easier to understand. To be able to use such a great living example of what true honesty is - was a pleasure. As I told last night’s group of young adults, “the kind of honesty we receive from folks like her comes to us without the filtering process from the buffer zone between our heart, and lips (which is our mind) - it’s just pure honesty,” as thick and beautiful as honey on a comb. After all, what reason do they have to be pretentious? What reaction would they fear? Why do they care what others think? Wouldn’t it be great to reach such a level of honesty long before we celebrate our 87th birthday, or before an Oncologist declares his sentencing?
Honesty, true honesty isn’t intended to hurt anyone, it isn’t impatient, it isn’t self-centered, and it isn’t restricting. True honesty is merely a form of love - a wonderful manifestation of love, to be exact.
Honesty - like the Anna Maria type can’t be faked. It can’t be contrived for any purpose. It can’t be a mere convenience. Honesty from within can’t be manipulated by circumstances, and most assuredly it has to flow from a heart similar to that of my new found friend, Anna Maria. My regret this morning is that I didn’t meet her twenty years ago. What great lessons we can learn from the most unassuming examples of God’s many creations.
Over the following weeks I visited Anna Maria numerous times. When she felt like it we would sit and talk as if we were old friends, and on other days we would sit quitely as she wrestled with the pain. Then one day, another Saturday to be exact I entered her room to find it empty. Cold, clean, and empty - I sat down anyway. I stayed for awhile with my memories of such a wonderful but short friendship. A nurse came by and told me how Anna Maria would smile from ear to ear as she told them all about me and our conversations after I would leave. Then I headed back out to rejoin the rest of the living. I know this, my life is better, fuller because of the few weeks God placed Anna Maria in it. I hope he allows me to do the same for someone else when the time is right.
Doug
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