Recently I agreed to post a bond for a lady to get her son out of jail. It was his umpteenth DUI charge so the dollar amount was a bit steep - as it should have been. Mom explained that her son was dying of a rare blood disease (one that had killed his father several years earlier) as well as sclerosis of the liver, and two kinds of hepatitis. She told me how his wife had died not long ago and he had attempted suicide in an effort to end it all. Reluctantly he was still alive after being rescued by a search team with tracking dogs as well as a group of skilled doctors. He's now resolved himself to simply living out his life in a hell-bent fashion - all the way to the very end. I wasn't sure that being an accomplice to her efforts to free him from the safety of his jail cell was anything short of being an accessory to murder – his or someone else on the road, but mom's plea for help was convincing, so we met as scheduled in the lobby of the county detention center to start the process.
What happened over the next hour was anything but typical for this process, at least in my limited experiences. I listened intently as this nearly eighty-year old mom told horrific story after horrific story about her and her son's life. I sat on the jailor's bench beside her unable to respond for two reasons, I was awed by the details of her stories, and secondly she hardly paused for a breath as she bridged one recollection to another. As my mind was beginning to become encapsulated by her tales I speculated she had probably told these stories over and over for years to anyone willing to listen. She recalled how she and her husband had developed a small, yet successful business to a point where they were able to invest their money into real estate. She explained how their life as newlyweds was so glamorous. They built a large apartment complex in central-Alabama and she managed it's office all the while bearing and raising up two precious baby boys. Life was good during those early years of marriage. This was as pleasant as her story got – then darkness set in, and boy did it ever grow dark that bright and sunny Saturday morning. She began sharing how her husband had such an unquenchable thirst for sex that he often took on as many as three different women a day, all unhidden for his wife's knowledge. She said she turned her eyes away from the disgust for “the childrens sake” which is a typical co-dependent's statement most of us recognize. Now she says, I can't believe I put up with it as long as I did.
As expected, her husband soon left for sunny Florida and another woman's arms, leaving her with the apartment complex and responsibility of raising the two boys on her own. Then the darkness grew more dense as she expanded her story to include how she had been raped by an under-cover police officer. In the rear seat of a car parked on a dirt road driven deep into the woods alongside Warrior River, he threatened to kill her if she told anyone. She shared how she had later been robbed by two men posing to be potential apartment seekers. They tied her up at gunpoint and spread across the bed, and she assumed another raping was to come, yet was somehow spared. She went on to tell how she had nearly been murdered several times for various and bizarre reasons, but I noticed that she cried the most as she tried to communicate the extent of the pain she felt from giving her love to men that broke her heart over and over. I had met this woman only a half-hour earlier and already I knew much more about her life than I cared to know. Her's is a tough story to grab hold of on a relatively happy and care-free day when you're least expecting this kind of a close encounter.
She continued as she shared how her youngest son had gone into the hospital in his early 40's just to have reconstructive knee surgery, yet ended up bleeding to death after agreeing to accept an experimental blood thinning medication. He left behind an eight-year old daughter, loving wife, and obviously a grieving mother. The accusations of medical mistreatment flowed through a voice charred with anger, frustration and pain but then she grabbed hold of herself and began telling how this same son had burrowed through all of her retirement money while starting one failed business opportunity after another as well as one drug-induced crash after another. She talked in detail as how her entire financial security had been taken from her by a son that she loved dearly. The tears were pouring down her face as I was beginning to feel the shadow of her pain come over me .
The stories came endlessly flowing from her lips as if a swollen river in the rainy spring time had burst from its spillway. She told of a near fatal blood clot in her lungs and then the development of an inoperable brain tumor, which had wrapped itself around the stem of her brain. She spoke in gruesome detail about the ensuing procedure that required long screws to be drilled into her skull, a metal cap with a hundred and one small holes, fitted onto the screws, then her head. The pain from all the bumping and banging inside and out of her head as the screws stabbed at her brain all the while she lay fully awake and aware of what she was going through with the gamma radiation treatment. She cried out, “It was just horrible, I tell you!”
And then it happened – after nearly an hour of telling one excruciatingly painful, and near fatal life-event after another she finally spoke in an almost incoherent whisper about her God. Through a steady stream of tears she said; “ It's only by God's grace I've survived all of this, but I don't know why He's allowed me to suffer so much.”
It had been a testimony of sorts I suppose - a modern version of a Job-like life if I've ever heard one. Let me pause here to say, I admit I typically dismiss my concern for those that claim of being in a “Job-like” situation simply because they've just lost their home to a bank foreclosure, had a close family member die tragically, or have suffered through unemployment due to an industry lay-off. All tough situations to work through no doubt, but Job-like circumstances, I don't think so. I figure that if they can't get a real perspective on their circumstances, I shouldn't waste too much time feeling sorry for them very long. Probably not something I should admit here, but its true. As I see it, when you get a substantial amount of situations, and events accumulated as this mom says she's had – now that's a credible enough claim to Job's benchmark, yet even her story pales in comparison to what the man of Old Testament times suffered through. Come on now, the dude lost seven sons and three daughters on a single day of destruction. His body was covered with disease so severely that he would spend entire days sitting around scraping his skin. His home, his livestock, all his belongs taken, yet all his wife and friends offered him was such bad advice as; curse God, give up, kill yourself – just the very things he didn't need to hear at such a time. If you think somehow you've lived through the toughest of circumstances known to man, then as God challenged Satan, I say also, “Have you considered my servant Job?”
So often we want to feel a bit sorry for ourselves when times get tough, I know I have. Homeless, jobless, loveless, all situations that leave us feeling like we've received an unfair version of what life here on earth should be like. Where is our happiness? Where is the fulfillment of the promise for life in an abundant-like fashion? We seem to always arrive early for the pity parties, yet tardy for the realization that our lives will be forever marked with problems which are relatively unimportant when seen through the eyes of the One in which we place our faith, yet I believe there is a purpose for all things, none of this is random. Now don't get me wrong here - yes, we should be compassionate. Yes, we should be good listeners for those that need someone to hear their cries. That isn't my point! All I'm saying is that recounting our past troubles should not be the focal point of our testimony as true believers - Christ's faithfulness should be. So this bit of advice obviously doesn't apply when it comes to our efforts to console non-believers.
We so often seem to take hours or even lifetimes telling our own version of the stories of pain, suffering, shame, unfairness, victimization, and near fatal experiences to anyone willing to lend an ear, or be unfortunate enough to get stuck alongside us in the same car on a seemingly unending road trip. We write, we blog, we e-mail, we text, we tie up the phone lines, we televise, we become self-indulgent, and even obsessed with others peoples problems. Yes, most certainly they're life-defining situations, but these stories shouldn't become our testimony. Paul wrote; “Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders, make the most of every opportunity. Let you conversations be always full of grace” yet, we all too often give up our glamorous smile, and the beauty of grace in exchange for sympathy, or at a minimum a cup full of empathy.
Disagree? Simply turn to today's “big” television events to see what I referring to. The Winter Olympics have recently closed, and standing long side my memory of the many heroic-like performances is one story after another of the personal tragedies many of the athletes have suffered. Whether it was near career-ending injury, sudden loss of a family member near competition time, a sibling's birth defect, a poverty engrossed background, or a stressful parent–child relationship, all stories told over and over throughout the two weeks the Games captured our attention. Their hardships garnered our attention as much, if not more, than their athletic performances. Most of us can't recall the winning time for the two-man bobsled winner, yet we can recite exactly how the “push-off” dude had suffered from a terrible ingrown toenail at the age of seven. Geez.....
Another closely followed example of this modern day obsession with troubles and trials is the American Idol show. Each week the show is centered around the stumbling blocks, both past and present in a performer's life. Their personal struggles is given as much air-time as is their efforts to stay on pitch through a two minute rendition of whatever song they're bellowing out. Again, the stories seem almost identical to those of the athletes performing in Canada, or of those from any other reality type show filling up the airwaves today. Dramatic situation told over and over controls the spotlight as well as the sound bites and scrolling lines across the screens of the far too many twenty-four hour a day news productions. There is a reason television as a whole is listed as a “drama industry.” Some people become so engrossed in the characters of the shows, and not the shows themselves that they either simply quit living out their own lives and take up those of the show, or they begin to see how their own experiences are even greater than the characters, so they begin to tell the same types of sad stories to anyone that'll tune in to their life's channel. I heard recently someone (on television, no doubt) quip; I feel like we've surrendered our lives over to the momentum of mediocrity. How true!
Here's my point, finally – RARELY, IF EVER is God mentioned in our so-called testimonies of today! Rarely, if ever does someone get to the point (before the world has stopped listening) about how God's mercy and grace has been sufficient to see us through all we've faced in our past, or will face in our present and future. If mentioned at all, it is as if God's name barely captures our eyes in the scrolling credits at the end of the show, just after the name of the third stage Boom Operator. He gets little, to no credit for ALL He has done.
Actually, if some of us were to get around to mentioning God' presence in our lives an hour into a conversation as this mom did, that would be progress. Rarely, if ever do we see someone on television, or in person, as far as that goes, start a conversation about their “problems” with a comment such as; Let me tell you about the loving God I serve - One that gives me the strength and peace to deal with such a tragic ordeal. Haven't heard that very often have we? Haven't said it that way ourselves very often either, have we? Peter said; “Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have.” but do we?
Situations and circumstances take center stage and the focus gets misplaced on ourselves, rather than on He that has seen us through the stormy nights. Just like the mom getting her son out of jail we say; look at what we've been through, and only as an after-thought we add, but God is good. Why? Maybe the intellectual part of the answer as to why is we speak so often of our problems and so little of God's presence is due to the very last part of the mom's statement to me that day. She unknowingly asked the rhetorical question; but I don't know why He's allowed me to suffer so much.” I don't know why He's allowed me to suffer so much? A question we often struggle with, especially while we're attending our pity party of the week. I suspect it's a question that creeps into even the strongest of minds at times when things get really, really tough and we get really, really weary. Jesus tells us to take refuge from our weariness by placing our load of troubles and worries on Him - something easier said than done at times. James told us; instead of fretting, count it as pure joy during these times, for it develops perseverance - which leads to maturity. Now, that may seem like Step One, of the Instruction Manual for Insanity to someone bogged down with troubles and trials, but let me assure you, without this mindset we have no hope for survival.
In Lee Stroble's A Case for Faith he includes the mom's question in what he called his “Big Eight” as the most common stumbling blogs set before non-believers. If there really is a God, and he's such a loving God, why is there so much hurt, pain, and suffering in the world, especially with innocent children? Tough question, huh!
When I gave my heart, soul, and mind over to Christ I first had to come to the intellectual conclusion that there will always be some questions I'll never fully resolve here on earth. And further more, it isn't my responsibility to resolve all questions, to have full knowledge of God's ways. Our religion is faith-based and nothing more! When you get down to the part where the tire meets the road no amount to education or apologetic study is going to get you over the threshold of belief - only faith can take you through that doorway.
But, lets get back to my conversation with the mother of this drunk-driving, hell-bent living, mad as a firecracker, sick and dying son. You see, what I heard over and over and over, again, for nearly an hour that day was an opportunity to sing God's praise, and share the true Gospel of Christ – yet all that spewed forth were recollections of the terrible problems, torture, and torments of her past and present. Not until the very end did she come close to mentioning that God had spared her life over and over. Not until my ears were nearly numb from the steady stream of this one-sided conversation did she say something that could made a difference for someone dying without God's hope today. The real truth is that she can't go back and change the past no more than you or I, yet that is apparently where her focus stays. So, on this week's show she is performing again her own version of the song, Woe is me, poor pitiful me.
The ugly truth is, all too often we do the very same. Okay, maybe not always with our words, but often and even more dangerously, in how we live out our lives. We get so caught up in our problems, and issues that we fail to tell someone that Jesus has been a good and faithful friend, seeing us through every step of the way. And when you get right down to it, that's all we really have to offer the world. We can't say; take Christ and all your problems will disappear, but we can say, take Christ for when times get tough (and they most certainly will get tough as it rains on the Just as well as the un-Just), and you'll not face them alone. Rather, He'll carry you though the toughest of times when you can't find the strength to stand upright much less walk on your own.
Where we fail so often is that we exchange the true Gospel for a story of despair, or even a step by step procedure (canned prayer included) to believing in the plan of salvation. This is not the Gospel, yet we settle for a “get fixed quick” approach to sharing with others rather than the big picture version. The Gospel, or Good News was/is the full version of Christ's life and teachings. It's that He will be closer than a friend. It's that He calls us to love our enemies, to help the poor, to live life as if there is no tomorrow, giving everything we have for another. The Gospel is Christ is not just the cross, and it's not just the Resurrection (as some believe), it's Jesus, himself. We are guilt of leading others to “accept” Christ as their savior for an eternal reward- yet the real reward is in our relationship with Him, not just in our hope for a future existence with Him. Living with Him in the right here, right now! Billy Graham once said; he would be happy if only five percent of those that came forward at his crusades actually make it to heaven. I believe in a round about way he was referring to exactly what I saying here.
Maybe not all of us have faced situations such as having to deal with a flauntingly cheat of a husband, being raped by someone we trusted, held at gun-point while robbed, the pain and suffering from a brain tumor, attempted suicide of a son, a near-death experience from a blood clot in our lungs, or the death of a child, and daughter-in-law - but we do have our own version of life is hard. It's not Job's song, it's not this mother's song, it's our song and the world listens in as we sing it over and over again like a broken record. They sit behind their judge's table and rip us apart and then dismiss us from the competition just as does Simon and his gang when they don't find what they're looking for in a singer. The world too is looking for an Idol, it's not just an American thing, and here is where the proper telling of our personal version of The Good News comes into play.
We need to always communicate how we can take refuge in Him from our troubles and trials. We need to stop singing, when we get to heaven they'll be no more tears, pain, toils and troubles, and start telling others of the comfort they'll find right here, right now. Our streets of gold are here already, or as Jesus said; the kingdom of God is at hand. Trust me here, when we go through tough times the world looks intently at how we react to the circumstances. They do this because they're looking to see if there truly is a reason to believe. If they see nothing different in us, they'll simply move on, writing us off as hypo-typical Christians. Hypocrites that say one thing, yet live another – all too typical of many so-called believers today – thus we become Hypo-typical.
So here's my advice, as if that's needed; 1. Take refuge in Him today from your troubles. 2. Don't spend your time and energy trying to understand why these things are happening in your life past the point you need to check to see if there is some behavior that needs changing. 3. Live life to fullest within your circumstances by telling others with your words as well as with the way you live out your life through the toughest of times. It's a story they long to hear, whether they know it or not. It isn't a story of problems, for they have their own, it's a story of hope, and mercy, a love story rivaled by none other. You have that story to share, now don't you? Isaiah reminds us to heed the voice of the Lord; “Your ears will hear a voice from behind you saying, This is the way – walk in it.” and lastly, 4. It's much easier to hear His voice when we're not doing so much talking about our troubles and trials.
Let His light shine through all the cracks in our vessels! Doug 3/2010
No comments:
Post a Comment