Layers

She only wanted to be considered “one of the guys” but it seemed that it was never to be. She did all the things they did - she went to the same school, hung out at most of the same places, wrote the same stuff they did – but she still wasn’t seen in the same light as her male counterparts. Most women of her time would have cherished the opportunity to have received an education in Oxford yet she was highly perturbed because they did not hand out sheep-skin to women at the time. Eight years later she received her degree, partly because of her involvement in a movement to improve the status of women rights. To be accepted and respected like her colleagues of the other gender was not only a strong motivator for her, but it also became a major distraction of sorts from making the right choices at times.

She was involved in several intensely romantic relationships but only married after the ripe old age of forty. She secretly bore an illegitimate son, “Tony” from a romantic fling with car salesman Bill White in 1924, which she quietly gave away to an orphanage house ran by her aunt and cousin out of fear that caring for him would only distract her from her attempt to be seen on the same playing field as the fellows she hung out with. Who were the dudes that she clung to? They were the likes of C.L. Lewis, J.R.R. Tolkien, C.K. Chesterton, and Charles White. Some of her friends were known members of the literary group called the “Inklings” (or as I call them the Rabbit Room bunch) yet most everyone else knows them simply as the most revered group of British writers ever. She was always consumed with concern as to what they thought of her.

To secretly rid one’s life of her only child for the sake of being considered equal to others – makes you wonder, doesn’t it? Some only know Dorothy Sayers as the foremost female writer in England’s history, but over the years I’ve come to see her as merely just another person with lots and lots of un-revealed layers.

This past Sunday I had the opportunity to share my worship experience with Rev. Scott Christmas and the fine folks at Grace Community Church in Jacksonville, Florida. Unfortunately Christmas was on vacation this Christmas and I didn’t have the opportunity to hear him deliver a message about the first Christmas experience – but who knows, maybe next time. Footnote: I found that the kids in the Sanderson family have an unbelievable amount of musical talent to share with the world. What a joyful experience to hear them play their instruments for the glory of the Lord!


If you know much about the inter-workings of my pea-size brain you know that I’m always intrigued by “layers.” Whether it is with movies, stories, books, people, sermons - whatever it is, it needs to have evidence of layers to peak my interest. I don’t like stories that have a simple and basic plot with no added layers to it either. While I’m at it, I most certainly don’t like movies just because they have some new catchy twist and turn or strange ending – I like those that encompass several layers of meanings, and deal with multiple issues within the story line. Any flick is only interesting to me if there are underlying stories that relate to things such as relationships, social issues, theology, etc, etc. Believe it or not, there are movies out there that cover such a wide-scope of intrigue, but unfortunately they are few and far between. I guess that’s why I’ve visited so few movie houses over the years.

I like, no I crave to hear sermons from “real” preachers that are also “real” people. The ones that are willing to allow the congregation see what they look like underneath the layers of pretentiousness that all of our lives come dressed with. I heard a pastor just recently admit from his pulpit that the “earthly man” took control over one afternoon and he actually flipped off another motorist in traffic. Now I personally didn’t think he needed to reveal this in order to get across the point in his sermon, but man did that ever make an impression on me. It sounds simple doesn’t it – it sounds silly, but how many times have you heard a minister admitting to giving someone the finger lately? I can’t remember any.

Over the past year I’ve heard some “real” pastors talk of things such as running red lights, or wanting an alcoholic drink some days. Thoughts of strangling their kids (in fun I think) and even secretly wanting a divorce from their wives at times. Layers, peeling off layers in front of other folks with little or no regard for the judgmental attitudes that most certainly accompanies such public revelation. Layers that need to be removed regardless of the damage the process does to the vision others have of us.

It’s kind of like undressing in front of someone for the first time – you just hope that your underwear doesn’t have holes in them, and your feet don’t stink too badly. You suck in your stomach, hold out your chest, and stand as tall as possible to make it look as if your weight and height is actually in proportion. You’re willing to let them see you naked - but only if somehow you’re able to look the best naked you can possibly muster up.

The more you undress in front of that person the more comfortable you get with them seeing you naked. Sometimes it can get too comfortable and it reaches a point where they have to ask you “Hey, why don’t you put some clothes on every now and then?” Now, that will make you feel uncomfortable as well.

We all know that peeling off layers in front of family and close friends is much easier, (not easy, but easier) than with total strangers, but what we don’t want disclosed most about ourselves is exactly what Christ says we need to shed in order to become more like him. Laying it all down, so the Father can make all things new again inside of us. Some look to Him to peel off the layers, yet I think that really all He does is allow the Holy Spirit to move within us in a way that convicts us of our efforts to hide and to hang onto the things that are distracting us from the intimate relationship He longs for us to have with Him. The choice to peel, and to continue to peel is all ours.

With Dorothy Sayers it was all about being seen as equal in value to her male friends – with us it’s supposed to be all about being humble servants and heirs to a glorious kingdom. In my opinion, what stood in her way of becoming the person she really wanted had nothing to do with her gender yet it was her reluctance to peel away the deepest layers that would have allowed others to see the real person that she was. I think what often stands in our way is the concern we have for what others will think about us if they are able to see the “real” us.


Peeling off the layers of our disguises and pretentiousness is like peeling back an onion – it most definitely has the potential to bring tears to your eyes. Today is an opportunity to remove yet another layer of ourselves in front of others, in order that it will not only help us to become more humble but maybe, just maybe it’ll also help the person we’re willing to undress in front of.

Not yet totally naked, doug