more than a song

Each day for some time now, I start my workday (after getting this box cranked up) with my playlist headliner, Michael W. Smith’s The Heart of Worship. What a great song to help get focused on my purpose in life while at work – to worship and praise God in all of my thoughts, words, and actions. Trust me, I need all of the help that I can get! I feel like I’m cheating on a test each day, because I listen to Christian music almost 24/7. I know there aren’t a lot of folks that have that opportunity, and I truly appreciate what God has given me. I also know that He has placed me in this position because of my weaknesses, and He understands my needs much better than I do.

The lyrics that I like most from this song are, “I’ll bring you more than a song, for a song in itself is not what you have required - you search much deeper within - through the way things appear - your looking into my heart - I’m coming back to the heart of worship, and its all about you, its all about you Jesus - I’m sorry Lord, for the thing that I’ve made it! Its all about you, its all about you Jesus.”

What insightfulness for a songwriter to admit that “songs” are not what Jesus asks of us! It’s much more, so much more than just our praises. The same for a pastor to proclaim that sermons are not the purpose of his Christianity, or a writer to acknowledge that the words may come from God, yet the purpose in our lives, as His people is so much greater than the pen can capture. And it’s with that thought in mind that I break from the norm today, and share more than my words. As you guys know, I’ve been sharing “my personal journal entries” each week at this time, yet today I want to extend to you something from someone else’s life, which I don’t posses the words to express properly.

The following story was shared in a sermon given by Dr. Rick Blackwood, Senior Pastor at Christ Fellowship in Pametto Bay, Fla. several years ago. The story is of a father’s love, pain, anguish, and most certainly a father’s hope. I in turn, hope that somehow in some small way it finds a purpose in your own life today, as we all share our Christianity with each other. If you’re a parent, you’ll understand even more so the emotional state from where this letter was written.

Pastor Rick began by reading a tribute that a father had written after losing his young daughter to Death, and it goes as follows; “My dear Bristol, before you were born, I prayed for you. In my heart I knew that you would be a little angel, and so you were. When you were born on my birthday, it was evident that you were a special gift from the Lord. But how profound a gift you turned out to be! More than a beautiful bundle of gurgles and rosy cheeks, more than the first-born of my flesh, a joy unspeakable, you showed me God’s love more than anything else in all creation. Bristol, you taught me how to love.”

“I certainly loved you when you were cuddly and cute, when you rolled over, sat up and jabbered your first words. I loved you when the searing pain of realization took hold that something was wrong; that maybe you were not developing as quickly as your peers, and then when we understood it was more serious than that. I loved you when we went from hospital, to clinic, to doctor, looking for a medical diagnosis that would bring some hope. And, of course, we always prayed for you, and prayed, prayed.”

“I loved you when one of the tests resulted in too much spinal fluid being drawn from your body - and you screamed. I loved you when you when you moaned and cried; and when your mom and I, and your sisters would drive for hours late at night, to help you fall asleep. I loved you with tears in my eyes when, confused, you would bite your fingers, or your lip by accident. I loved you when your eyes crossed, and then went blind.”

“I most certainly loved you when you could no longer speak, but how profoundly I missed your voice! I loved you when your scoliosis started wrenching your body like a pretzel, when they put a tube in your stomach so you could eat because you were choking on your food, which we fed you, one spoonful at a time - up to two hours per meal. Bristol, I even loved you when you could not say the one thing in life that I longed to hear back – “Daddy, I love you”. Bristol, I loved you when I was close to God, and when he seemed far away, when I was full of faith, and also when I was angry at Him.”

“The reason I loved you, my Bristol, in spite of these difficulties is that God put this love in my heart. This is the wondrous nature of God’s love, that He loves us even when we are blind, deaf, or twisted – in body or in spirit. God loves us even when we can’t tell Him we love Him back. My dear Bristol, now you are free! I look forward to that day, according to God’s promises, when we will be joined together with you - with the Lord, completely whole and full of joy. I’m so happy that you have your crown first. We will follow you someday- in His time.”


“I’m sorry Lord, for the thing that I have made it!

I bring you more than a song God, because you deserve so much more - for loving me through all of my spiritual deficiencies, deformities, blindness, and especially through those times that I forget to, or simply refuse to tell you - Daddy, I love you… doug